Give up the Ghost


Date number four. He Superliked me and I hovered over the swipe right as I tend not to swipe for those who superlike. Rule of thumb is that it screams desperation! And they tend to be 2/10’s. This guy, seemed a solid 7/10, in his late thirties and although arrogant, something quite sweet about him. I swiped right.

We got chatting and met before I left for a holiday. No instant spark or connection but agreed to meet him again.

During the hiatus between our first and second date, he’d call me in the evenings and we’d facetime. I started to grow to like him and felt the first flickering of a spark / connection / voodoo magic or whatever you want to call it.  After meeting for date 2, there was something growing there. I dared allow myself hope, stupidly. By now reader, I’m sure you can tell my heart falls faster than my knickers!

Date 3, he took me on a picnic. He put so much effort in, I actually felt my ice cold heart begin to melt. He kissed me. It wasn’t magical, the earth didn’t move. There was a sexual reaction though. I went back to his to meet his cat and his dick. Despite my colleague telling me to never trust a man who lives on his own with a cat, I went there anyway.

I fell into Dicksand.

Fast forward a few dates later and he stays over at mine. I don’t often let people into my home. Not because I’m ashamed, it’s a pretty awesome flat. I just can’t be arsed eagle eyed watching where people put their cups or passively aggressively staring at the shoes they’ve not taken off! Anyway, as per usual, he was a gentleman. He’d said a few comments that had made me step back a little, but as I mentioned earlier, my vagina was in love, so I ignored. (Think – “You’re laddish humour makes you unattractive” and “If you want to meet in bar, then I’m not the guy for you” etc) Yes, I definitely seem to attract the same type of men who want me to be the gentle, easily controlled woman. I’m not. I’m a bit of a prick. I don’t know how I’m giving off this impression of being super sweet and malleable. Note to self – work harder on resting bitch face.

I digress! Brilliant evening together again, kissed me goodbye in the morning. Then nothing. For two days. Message gets ignored. I’m dead to him. I’ve been ghosted. First thought was ‘oh, he’s a film Director, he’s probably just busy’ He eventually messages day 3 after I give up “sorry, don’t mean to be rude, just taken on a lot of work so really busy at the moment” Me with the ice cold exterior (gutted interior right now FYI) messages back “Ok, I understand. No worries. Hope it all works out” He responds a day later with “Hope your days been amazing” and I follow with “Thank you 😊 hope yours has been too”

This apparently triggers some weird reaction! I get a “Ok…I get it. Good luck too then” Da fuck!!! After he ignores me again asking for clarification and completely ghosts over the massive fucking teenage girl style elephant in the room, he goes into my archived file. I don’t know why there was a need there for games. I’d told him I liked him, he knew where he stood. There was no need for a play for control. Several more dates later, he could have had me (not in the sexual sense. He’d tapped that!) I’m just perplexed as to what happened. Did I do something wrong? I clearly didn’t come on too strong. Was that the mistake? Starting to feel quite dejected at this dating game. It’s pretty brutal. I need a man. A man who doesn’t let his insecurities and then pride ruin what could have been. I hope he Directs a Ghost film next and thinks of me!

Lesson learnt. Again! DON’T FALL!!!!! Play the game.

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